In Ohio and Connecticut, they held ``silent'' soccer days last fall where parents were prohibited from saying a word during games.

In Florida, one youth athletic association requires parents to take a sportsmanship class before their child is eligible to play.

In Pennsylvania, a midget football game turned into an ugly brawl involving more than 50 players and fans.

In Georgia, a fight broke out between parents and coaches during a baseball game involving 5-year-olds.

It's everywhere.

Everywhere else, I think.

Until last weekend, when I'm watching my son's Little League baseball game and the opposing coach goes ballistic over an umpire's call and is ejected from the field, but not before delivering a well-aimed obscene gesture at the umpire as my son stands waiting at home plate.

Then an hour later, when the game ends, the coach comes back into the facility and tries going after the umpire. With a group of 13- and 14-year-old kids looking on, the coach spends several minutes being held back by his assistant while the umpire escapes to his car.

By the time it's over, police have been called to cool things down.

Welcome to the world of youth sports.

It isn't always this way, of course. But it happens enough to sour what should be fun and games.

Fun.

And games.

How hard is this?

Little League parents and coaches are notorious for their obnoxious behavior. If you've spent any time around youth sports, you've seen it. Often it's well-intentioned, a parent who thinks they need to help their child by yelling non-stop instructions. Or figures the referee just cost their team a victory.

As if it matters.

But these are the days of ultra-competitive, must-win attitudes. Heightened, of course, by the increasingly huge money available in professional sports and the cost of college.

After all, isn't every parent's child on the fast track to a scholarship and eventual million-dollar contract in the big leagues?

And some coaches, like the one who blew up last weekend, appear to think umpires who are working Little League games should never make mistakes. And that somehow it's OK to let kids see their adult ``authority figure'' lose his mind because he disagrees with a call.

``Unfortunately, what we're dealing with is a small minority that creates a major problem,'' said Robert Young, executive director of the Lake Washington Youth Soccer Association.

The LWYSA took an interesting step last September, instituting a ``referee warning program'' that gives game officials more authority to cancel a contest in mid-game if they take too much abuse from parents and coaches on the sidelines.

This is a step in the right direction. Game officials are the target of constant criticism, usually from parents who would never think of volunteering to referee a game themselves. They expect major-league perfection from beginning officials working games involving 10-year-old kids.

And don't forget, major-league officials also make mistakes.

It's part of life, as is the realization that there is a winner and loser in every sporting event. Learning to deal with those things should be major reasons we involve our kids in sports.

But those are the forgotten lessons, hidden far behind the instinct to push Little Johnny to excel, or protect him from the nasty umpire who called him out, or the unqualified -- and unpaid -- coach who doesn't understand how talented he is and thus asked him to sit on the bench for the final two innings, or, gasp, play the outfield when his professional future clearly lies at shortstop.

I'm not perfect in these matters myself. I've been known to yell advice to my children in mid-game, when it's best to just shout encouragement and let them play.

My actions generally parallel the level of protection I feel my kids need. I remember the first time my son made his Little League baseball all-star team and came to bat against a pitcher who surely stood 6-feet tall and looked about 18 years old.

Suddenly I was screaming instructions. ``You're OK. Stand in there. Quick hands. QUICK HANDS.''

Until my son glanced back at me in the stands with a look that said, ``I'm all right, Dad.''

Which he was, of course, once I shut up and let him concentrate on the task at hand.

That's the irony. We want to help our children, but I've seen so many kids who literally become frozen by the constant stream of advice coming from every direction.

In youth soccer, parents usually stand right on the sidelines, which leads to constant instruction and uncomfortable situations between spectators and officials.

That's what led to the league-imposed ``silent'' games in Ohio and Connecticut, and locally to the LWYSA's decision to empower referees to halt contests that are untenable.

``I'm totally against the idea of quiet sidelines where nobody says a word,'' said Young, the LWYSA executive. ``That's not what this is about. We need parents out there yelling encouragement and rooting for their kids. What we want to get rid of is the negative side of it.''

Sometimes the mere threat of stopping play is all that is needed to remind folks that good sportsmanship is required. Young said only one game -- out of about 1,200 -- was halted last year after his association implemented the new rule.

Ultimately, however, these things can only be controlled by ourselves. Well-intentioned as most parents and coaches are, it never hurts to step back and remind ourselves of the basic tenets of youth sports.

These are games.

For kids.

For fun.

Greg Johns can be reached by voice mail (253-872-6639) or e-mail (gjohns@juno.com).

Greg Johns can be reached by voice mail (425-453-4261) or e-mail (gjohns@juno.com).

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